REMEMBERING MY DEAREST 'LOU MA JI' - THANK YOU, ALL

When I decided to put up my memorial on my Mum on the anniversary of her passing, my only thought was that I wanted the ‘world’ to know what a great mother I had, something I’ve never made known to her which I’ve regretted very much. But after I’ve posted it, I was hesitant in letting my siblings know as I was not sure what their response would be when they found out. Coming from a family that’s not very demonstrative of our caring for each other, would they be unhappy that I went ‘public’ about Mum, or would they brush me off as being too mushy? However, the responses that I got when I finally told them were totally unexpected. They were so happy and positive about it and making sure all my siblings and nieces and nephews read it, too. Some of them posted their own memories. Same as me, they also wanted everybody to know and to share what a special and jovial mother/grandmother our Mum was. I was so happy and glad I did it after all!

For the past year since she left us, every time I looked at Mum’s picture, there would be that ache in my heart and that feeling of regret and sadness that just wouldn’t go away. Maybe it was because I still felt we haven’t done enough, that we didn’t handle her passing well, being torn apart with our own belief on how Mum should be treated and that left an unspoken mark on our relationship, something which would have made Mum very sad as she loved her children very much and wouldn’t want to see them fighting because of her.

However, after posting my memorial and getting all these positive responses and sharing with my sisters, I can now look at my Mum’s picture and be filled with happiness, knowing for sure that my Mum was indeed much loved and revered by all of us and each of us was just doing what we thought was best for her. This love for our Mum will always be the common bond that keeps us together. And I could feel now that Mum is at peace. So the memorial, and its consequent responses, was like some kind of ‘closure’ for me.

To all my siblings and my brother-in-law who gave me all the positive responses, and nieces and nephews who posted comments on my memorial, thank you.

Thank you for helping me to let go.




(Pic: Part of the clan who celebrated Mum's birthday in 2007, the year before she left us.)